Bear And Rainbow

“In a world of deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”

The norm is corruptness, injustice, the unspoken norm of slithering by and don’t ask, don’t tell.

When one person stands up and wants to make improvements for the highest good of all, it’s called controversial.  Everyone is too chicken shit these days to make a stand for justice.

Fear of losing their job, fear of losing their friends/ family, fear of losing face, fear of being wrong, fear of rejection.

When dysfunctional things don’t work, that is opportunity for improvement.  The chinese character for crisis is the same character for opportunity.

I was new at a job, only a couple weeks fresh into it.  I called someone out only because she tattled on me, wrongly accusing me.   I called out why nepotism was played out, and I was unjustly targeted. Why was there favoritism if you were going to target me?  Why are you trying to play by the rules if the justice system doesn’t pertain to you and your friends? The boss left, declaring she had other obligations.  We all knew better, her boss fired her. Her boss got wind of all the tom foolery and favorites games she was playing and it finally caught up to her.  

Well, I honestly forgot about this story, until someone, almost 10 years down the line got inspired to lead his own rebellion.  Almost 10 years later, someone making changes got wind of this story and it inspired his own second wind to take a chance and have his petitions for change heard.  He was speaking on the behalf of him and his work colleagues. To his surprise, though hesitant at first, his superior was actually impressed and siding with the improvements he wanted to enact for the staff.  If he didn’t hear my story, he probably would’ve not had the extra push to have the audacity to initiate this meeting. Mind you, I forgot I did this, and it was 10 years ago! You never know how subtlety or powerfully you can impact someone’s life, and how long the lasting effects can still take affect, long after you’ve even forgotten about it!

Just do it.

Did I Make a Difference?

Do you ever ask yourself, “What am I doing here?  Am I ever making a difference?” I’ve had several co-workers in many fields express this to me?  “What are we even doing here, just taking up space?”

Don’t ever underestimate yourself!  Yes, there are times we feel frustrated because we lose sight of why we are doing what we are doing.  We get mired in the day to day things that make us feel negative, hopeless, overwhelmed, resentful, sad, or frustrated. 

Our biggest fear is not that we are weak.  Our biggest fear is that we are powerful beyond belief is the quote from Marianne Williamson. 

Sometimes those of us who have lofty dreams and goals may feel like our life is futile, like we’re the size of an ant trying to move and carry mountains.  In retrospect, what really matters when our life here is over? What do you want to have accomplished, experienced, or felt before you pass over, or is there even anything at all?  What you want people that knew you to remember you by? How do you want them to remember you? Does it even matter to you? What are you values that matter to you if you were to die today?  Do you even know what they are?

Today, I saw 4 different people from my past.  It was in the wee early hours of the morning. Mind you, it was a Sunday, so typically society is usually less active on Sundays.  This was strange for me on my current Sunday routine. I saw several people from different parts of my past, all essential I feel. I was wracking my brain as to why suddenly I was reminded of them.  It was as if Universe ambushed me. It reminded me of Ebaneezer Scrooge who was visited from the ghosts of his past. These ghosts got him to reflect on the consequences of his actions towards himself and the people around him.  One person, maybe 2 would’ve been settling. But several people from my past? No, this was not a coincidence and I was determined to extract the meaning of this.

There are times that I doubt myself, my life, my very existence because my current reality seems worlds away from my lofty aspirations.

I ruminate, what messages running into all these people from my past have for me?  I was a girl. I became a woman. Some may see me as a crone despite my physical appearance because they feel I am too mature for my age, or care too much about things others don’t even think about.  They say, “Why bother? We’re all gonna die anyway!” Others just say I am an old soul.

These people were my playing grounds of life.  They helped shaped my character. When they were weak, betrayed me, praised me, supported me, it doesn’t matter what roles they played, they were all essential.  They were all in my life for a reason. We may not have been friends, or close, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t impact each others’ lives in significant ways. I found myself through them.  They pushed me up higher than I could be if I were isolated. They pushed my buttons, they made me face my fears within myself. They made me find courage and strength to speak up for what is right, no matter how small, that’s where it all starts.  They made me feel loved, like I was part of something important. Afterall, isn’t that what we all seek, to feel like we are contributing to something significant? Don’t we all want to get up daily and look forward to it, like we are actually making a difference in other people’s lives?

I thank them, each and every one of them.  They made me feel a myriad of emotions, exploring myself and what I am truly capable of played out through and with them.  Feelings of joy, frustration, anger, resentment, betrayal, injustice, confusion, powerlessness, to love, support, appreciation, respect, beauty, confidence, compassion, forgiveness, even strength and empowerment.

I may never know the difference I impacted on their lives, but I reverently rediscover the impact they made in playing their part in molding my character today.  I forgive and thank them for that.

I am thankful for the character they helped me build, and the significant memories we built together, which are more beautiful nostalgically reminiscing about them.  I am part of something. I was part of a movement, we all just didn’t realize it then. Some of them still don’t realize it walking in their psychic slumber. Despite all the criticisms and lacks, we all are making a difference.  It’s just a matter of choosing the wear the lens of perspective half full.

I am not the same person.  I have grown tremendously. They are like mile markers that I have left past pastures behind to courageously remain growing out of my comfort zones and traverse more adventures in the spirit and physical planes simultaneously!    

Never underestimate yourself, your character, and the impact your thoughts and actions have on the world.  This is the true gold and legacy you leave when you die. You have to allow yourself to see it. God sees it, why not you?

Whether it be a smile up  front for a sales proposition, or an embarrassed citizen trying to save face, we all know when something is off.  

You can allow people to do what they want with you because you always have the power of choice.  Who knows? Maybe you want that attention at the cost or expense of….fill in the blank. Maybe you gave sex just to find love in the wrong places?  Maybe you were peer pressured to go against your values? We’ve all been there and know what it feels like to be desperate. Everyone uses each other.  But how do you use each other? What do you learn from it?

My mom said something was strange when America’s mother came smiling big at her with long eye contact after the sermon at church.  She was complaining as to why this lady never approached or gave her a notice or even a smile before. Well, incongruencies are a big clue as to feeling when something is not right, off, or different.  It’s not a judgment, it doesn’t have to be right or wrong, bad nor good.

People and situations change.  People can improve, get worse, or just go sideways, haha.  You have to ask it from your own perspective. How is this relationship or agreement serving me?  Then you can ask how is it serving other parties from their perspective.  

Giving first is one of the ways to gain trust.  People who just come to you when they need something are less likely to have an easier time getting what they want.  When you have already given something, appreciation, trust, love, attention, money, gifts, support in some way, your time, endorsements, then humans have a desire to reciprocate unless they’re a sociopath.  

Don’t just give to get something in return.  Of course we all know it will come back to you.  How many of you know that co-worker that only gives a compliment because she is desperately sniffing one out in return from you?  When you give from a place of feeling complete and joyful, you command that to return to you. When you give feeling scarcity, fear, or resentment, you command that to return to you as well.  

So, it is about the action, but more importantly, the energetic vibration spent while doing the action overrides the action.  Give because you want to bless people, without attachment.  

It is very much appreciated, respected, and refreshing when people come to us in an authentic way just to bless and give.  They don’t have to give something tangible. It can just be their presence, their support even long distance. It takes strong people to be authentic.  I don’t mean authentic in a shameless needy way. I mean authentic in a way they are more whole, conscious, transparent, and generous. 

Some people come to us out of insecurity not realizing it is a repellent energy.  You have got to trust in yourself and trust in some people. Trust they will love you, and do love you just because they do, not for any cause or effect that you have to do.  No one can feed or quell your insecurity and heal it, only you.

Some people come to challenge us.  Some people come to attack us. Some people come to use us.  

What we can learn in imbalanced relationships is how to discriminate and read between the lines, even when people are in denial themselves.  We can learn how to remain in our personal power.

Some come to prove to themselves that they are not guilty.  We all don’t care. We all are full, minding our own business.  We don’t care nor have time to judge you, so let it go. We are at peace for and with you.  There is nothing to forgive because there was never a judgement.

All our relationships have an understanding of what is being exchanged even if not spoken.  We go to the market and pay for gas, or food. There is an exchange. People pay us for our services.  People pay to party. People pay for empowerment.  

People need to pay and replenish their friendships, but this cannot happen when your cup is empty.  If anything, you drain the friendship with insecurity, jealousy, imbalanced dependence and trying to be controlling.

What are different ways of giving?  Yes, we all want to get something back in return.  It’s the way we live here in these human bodies! But you have to see it from the other person’s perspective.  It’s like giving Lori a red sock when red is your favorite color, but she hates the color red. If Joe is looking for a perfect volunteer, don’t give money when the end goal he wants is a perfect volunteer.  Get him closer to that goal of his by helping him find that.  

I used to have a friend that would never give me what I wanted.  She only gave me things she valued, even if I didn’t care for them, even when I clearly told her what I wanted.  She was used to throwing money at people to bend over backwards for her. Sorry, that bait ain’t attractive to me, so I cut her off.  Money can’t buy my free will or self respect.

If you don’t know the person well, there should be an organic, authentic relationship building.  It’s like dating. You don’t just say, “You wanna fuck?” unless that’s the kind of people you are and that’s your agreement.  Courtship, there is a friendship, a relationship building process in collaborations, sales, dating, and beyond. If you try too hard your desperation pushes the other person away.  If you are detached and giving, it should make the other person reciprocate unless they’re a complete turkey.  

Unfortunately most people do not know how to reciprocate today.  Many factors are responsible for this, from the laziness training of this immediate gratification society of internet, microwaves, Wikipedia…  Social media trains people to lack discipline because they’re addicted to seeing if anyone has liked their posts. ADD, and ADHD is rampant again because of the 2 things I just mentioned.  

How can we have real, deep, meaningful, authentic conversations, let alone relationships when people are not trained to?  This generation and society is deteriorating in heart, discipline, and meaning for how and why we live our lives. This is the selfie age.  Superficial values are glorified on mainstream media.  

It is shallow to live for outer things such as wealth, fame, success, and praise.  These are not bad, but if it controls you, then it becomes detrimental. These things can be used for good.  Yes, we do it because we all have egos.  

At the same time, the balance has to be in place.  We can exercise control over our egos and say, “No,” to our ego.  I didn’t say it’s easy. We all have basic human needs after our basic needs of safety, shelter and food are met.  Each individual has different priorities depending on their personality. Some may value feeling loved more, some may value feeling significant more, while others value adventure!  So, you cannot expect people to have the same motivations driving them.  

Ok, I’m going to go deeper and speak from a shamanic viewpoint.  Some people want to be around you to suck you dry. They can do this in an overtly congruent way, or hide it, or be in consciously denial of it, but subconsciously they know what they’re doing.  

People will come to you for the wrong reasons.  Or maybe it’s not labeled wrong, it is what it is.  You learn how to use your intuition, your discriminating muscle more.

People don’t know how to reciprocate these days.  Responding to voicemails, emails, in person requests, are lacking as the norm.  Ghosting is a common term. You meet up with someone or date him or her only find he or she left your life without any common courtesy of closure or notice.  I’ve seen one woman do this in her job, no resignation or verbal warning after 8 years, nothing. It’s too easy to ignore people. Hungry ghost is a ghost that is tormented by insatiable desires, a spiritual emptiness, maybe even filled with addiction.  When people are empty they are hungry, thirsty, desperate.  

This is why they don’t reciprocate.  It’s not because they’re busy. We all have 24 hours.  It’s because they are running on empty.  

When you run on empty you are parasitic, vampiric, taking or stealing.  We always see the same people complaining about people stealing from them.  What they don’t realize is that this current of lack runs through them and they have stolen from someone else.  This is why this pattern continues to boomerang back to them. People steal not only things, but time, trust, reputation, etc..  They steal reputation by slandering or gossiping about others. They steal time by never keeping their word and always breaking their appointments.  People steal your space in different ways. One way is they can being messy. We met someone who had 2 feet of junk piled up on her desk that it took her hours or days and weeks to respond to people because of this chaos.  Mess leads to stealing people’s time again, waiting on you. People who instill fear steal your peace of mind. Do you see, stealing is not only applicable to personal belongings?    

This is why it’s crucial to fill your cup yourself, so you don’t feel the need, or operate from stealing or taking mode.  No one else can or will, otherwise you’ll steal or take someone else’s energy and that’s the relationship or dance you play out with each other.

See, it’s not just about stealing things you can touch.  It’s not just about stealing energy from another person’s aura.  It’s beyond that into a lifestyle, a mindset, your matrix and how it impacts other people’s matrices.  

People are not aware of their currents running their matrices.  Does this make them bad people? You only know what you know. Once you become conscious or educated, you have the choice whether to heal or improve yourself.  

We are here to live and reciprocate in balanced ways that come out of love and abundance the best we know how.  Anything less than is not what I want to be known for or how I want to live anymore.  

People are not aware of this concept.  This is why some people are always slacking, late, losing, bringing the team down, or sabotaging.  This is why some people are always picking up the slack for others.  

You either fill your cup and run with more give, ie, responsiveness and capability, or you are a bleeder.  Is this harsh? Well, you may not like it if you are the bleeder or the sabotager. But this is the current that runs through when people come at you with the intention to take, versus an intention to bless or give.  

If you don’t like this message, it has nothing to do with us.  

It has triggered a belief of lack in you that is asking for a second look, asking for your healing.

You can do this, too.  Release your baggage to attract and create more success and happiness.  Write it on paper. Burn it. Bury it in the ground.

I release all the grudges, judgments, hurts, betrayals, that I have experienced this year and beyond to step into 2020 cleaner, lighter, with a fresher start.

Before you accuse us, reflect, see what you never did when you said you would with us. 

Mutual associations connected us together saying we should collaborate.

For all those people that claimed they wanted to work with me but were all talk, I release you. 

I release all the times I left you voicemails, digital messages, and you left us hanging.  I’m not talking about us approaching you without your invitation. I’m referring to those of you who gave us your word and said you would do what you offered.  No, the paper trail will never be erased, but we want to erase these hurts and betrayals with forgiveness. For those social media messages, voicemails, emails that I made and were left unanswered, raw with empty promises, goodbye.  We know it’s because you were too afraid to work with us because you want to control us and we are never going to be those people. That’s why you surround yourself with insecure people you can control, throwing flowers on yourselves and each other, not making any real impact, and those relationships were too weak to last anyway.   

For those people who asked us to cross promote each other but never held up their end of the bargain, goodbye.  

For those who took advantage of us or got mad at us who attempted to take advantage of us for free, or in a very imbalanced way, we release you.

For those people who were quick to unjustly turn us and our clients in to the police without evidence, falsely accusing us, good bye.  It serves you right that you later found out it was your own fault due to your lack of attentiveness while being intoxicated.  

For those they never repaid their debts to us,  whether it be monetary, legal documents, certifications, trades, and beyond, we release you knowing God/ Universe will handle you.  

For the blowhards who tried to tell us what to do yet wouldn’t apply it in their own lives, goodbye.  

For those who gossiped about us, slandered us, get a life!  For those who believed the gossip, make a life you’re proud to talk about.  Be courageous, get to know people before you judge them. Better yet, stop judging people.  To each their own! Stop trying to put us in a box. It will only drive you nuts, because we were never conforming nor born to complacently remain in a box.  Stretch your minds and hearts, enrich your spirituality, your education, your contributions to humanity. This is how you get out of talking schmack about others.  Live for something higher and outside of yourselves.

For those who consciously and unconsciously sent failure, disrespect, harm and malice our way, we let you deal with God, the higher powers.  

For those naysayers who said we will never have order, peace, success, and flow, we say, “Mind your own business.  Get out of the way of those who are making a way to help themselves and others.”

For those who dumped on me and did not reciprocate, that is for the toilet. We release you good bye.

For those we have offended intentionally and unintentionally, we apologize and ask for your forgiveness.  No, we do not always agree with each other, but we do agree that it’s more important to forgive and move forward than to be right and argue.

More importantly, I release and forgive the times I have doubted, harmed, and betrayed myself.

We let go of these psychic and emotional sandbags so that we may open up our abundant channels to peace of mind, wellness, and plenty.

To more inner peace on individual as well as the conscious collective,
Bear & Rainbow

“In a world of deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”

The norm is corruptness, injustice, the unspoken norm of slithering by and don’t ask, don’t tell.

When one person stands up and wants to make improvements for the highest good of all, it’s called controversial.  Everyone is too chicken shit these days to make a stand for justice.

Fear of losing their job, fear of losing their friends/ family, fear of losing face, fear of being wrong, fear of rejection.

When dysfunctional things don’t work, that is opportunity for improvement.  The chinese character for crisis is the same character for opportunity.

Minding my own business, doing what I am suppose to do, ironically it stirs up trouble.  Why, and with who? Of course, you guessed it! People who are dicking around and don’t wanna look bad because they are not doing what they are supposed to do in all environments, work, business, church, civics, global society, you name it.  When you mind your business, their shit work makes them desperately look petty, overextending themselves to infect others with their ill intent.

Hey, they have no one to blame but themselves.  The best part is letting them fall on their own swords they like to egotistically brandish around so much.  Leave them alone and watch them poison their own lives.  

Universal law dictates you get back what you put out.  If you steal, things are stolen from you. If you criticize, people will criticize you.  If you are kind to people, people will be kind to you. If you open your heart towards some, some will open their hearts towards you.

There is such thing as mob mentality.  Not everyone is a leader, a true leader anyway, one that is just and honorable for the highest and best good of all.  It’s more common and easier to follow others, even when who others are following are full of shit and dishonorable.  

If you create dissension, that will be the fall of you.  It is a win-win to work together, cooperate harmoniously.  The reason most people or managers do not operate this way is because their egos are too big and they are insecure, doing things for the wrong reasons.  Even when people in positions of perceived power or title holders are supposed to be responsible for leading, taking care of everyone physically, emotionally, professionally, fairly, it rarely happens these days.  This value needs to be valued, prioritized for it to be the norm in our world.  

The problem is people feel small, void, hopeless, and helpless, that even the manager or people in positions of power abuse their power by turning a blind eye or deaf ear just to keep their money and position.  It will eventually and always does come back to bite them in the ass.  

A lot of the times, people have bad attitudes, hate their lives, have no motivation for living, and sabotage everything they touch.

This is an opportunity for self-understanding, self-discovery, self-mastery.  They are like this because they don’t understand who and what potential they really have to offer.  They act like angry, hopeless victims and haven’t yet learned that they, too, can wield their own power.

Yes, stand up for the good you believe in.

Yes, know when to back off and let the snakes eat the snakes.  

Listen to that intuitive ebb and flow in your heart.