When people transform it can be extreme.

I’ve met people who have gone from one polarity of shy wallflower doormats to the extreme opposite polarity of bossy narcissists.  Talk about the pendulum swinging from starting point to end point!

When people change themselves there is usually a disruption.  It’s like dipping your toes in the water. You want to test the waters.  Then the water feels so good that you jump in and start to drown. It’s rare when people change that they just change in the beginning for the first time without any disruption.  There’s this quote, “Sometimes you have to eat all the chocolate before you quit eating chocolate!”  

I’ve known a lady who was so prudish and you would not want to touch that thing with a ten foot pole!  She would be tight ass about every single detail. You wouldn’t want her talking to you because she had a repellent energy that was so controlling.  She was trying too hard. There came a point she wanted to become sexy like her other sister. Okay, when your aura has been ingrained with something so long, it takes a long time to undo it.  In the beginning of her transformation she felt off, like she was trying too hard to be like a teenager. She changed from nun or scrub doctor wear to skin tight jeans, and even dyed her hair punk colors.  She literally looked like a hard-nosed lawyer or doctor when I first met her because of the way she carried herself. At the time her style/ fashion matched this personality she showcased. There is nothing wrong with either of these extremes of prudishness to wildness.  What is off is when the energy of a person doesn’t match the outer appearance, ie, incongruence.  

I, Rainbow, have offered Goddess Makeovers, which basically is feng shui’ing your body-personality type with your outer appearance.  

Now, if this lady felt comfortable and at peace in her element of being sexy, the sudden jump from conservative to flirty would not have felt off.  When something or someone feels off, it’s because it is incongruent. To be congruent is when one’s inner world matches or resonates with one’s outer world.  This can be displayed in many levels. But, perception and what one is willing to face and see with regards to oneself and others is another story.  

The energy that is emitted from a person’s aura tells us if the style or fashion matches that person’s energy.

Over time, this lady backed off because I guess she realized she was putting out the vibe that she was trying too hard and it was off-putting.

When she eased into becoming less of a control freak and relaxed her personality, her aura transformed to fit the new style she was stepping into.  This is the true transformation. She got what she wanted in learning how to feel sexy and embodying sexy. Her energy had to shift in order to be congruent with the new, youthful, sexy, playful image she was stepping into.  

When the energy of the person matches the outer way he or she displays herself, from actions, to fashion/ style, people, environment, and lifestyle, they become more trustworthy.  Why? The flow of energy is congruent so there is not incoherence. Instead there is a coherence which is more whole and smooth and this is what causes the human psyche to trust something or people.  The trust factor is there when more things match, or are in alignment, or are congruent. To display yourself as something you are not will put people off and cause them to not trust you.

We all have different aspects to ourselves, just like actors.  We can tap into different recesses of our soul. We can access and showcase different facets from our personal experiences.  When a person’s experiences are limited, so is their color pallette range of tapping into, or painting what they feel. When people go through such profound experiences on all polar ends of the spectrum, they are more versatile in understanding others, themselves, having compassion, and authentically relating to people versus pretending to  know what others go through. An artist I admire and respect once told me, “The deeper the pain, the deeper the joy.” So, the shallower the pain, the shallower the joy. I, personally, can enjoy things more because of appreciation I’ve honed into because of the contrast of all the suffering I have had as my personal experiences.

Have compassion for yourself and others when they are delving into the opposite extremes of what you formerly knew them as.  They don’t know any better, until they have the experience. I had to get dirty, or experience a lot of shitty experiences in order to realize those are not the experiences I want.  I have been bullied. I have been the bully, even through passive aggressive exclusion in junior high school.  

I have friends who have never experienced confidence, power, sexiness, control, attention, or bossiness before, and they are not pleasant to interact with because they are living out their ego self.  This is the goblin card in some decks. They were sweet before, but sometimes we all need that opposite extreme to get it out of our system before we get off the high horse and ground ourselves with virtues such as grace and humility again.  It’s annoying to say the least. Sometimes we have to give them space when they become difficult.

How do I deal with it?  I say, either physically, and or energetically, “I still love you, but don’t want to be around you when you’re like this.  I forgive you, but come back to me when you are ready to keep it real, 100, grounded, and humble.” Sometimes it hurts because they backstab or frontstab you.  But if the relationship is worth it, it may turn up to making amends again. If not, you know to kick it to the curb!

Human nature.  Expect the pendulum swings in others, yourself, mother nature, all aspects and relationships in life.

Breaking Point  

What turning point will buy you out?

Everyone has a price.

Do  you even have a constitution in place with yourself?

Do you know what your values are?  

What determines your actions?

Some people act like they’re nobody.

For example, Tupac put himself at house parties as if he didn’t need bodyguards, as if he wasn’t a celebrity.

Are you an influencer?  

Are you famous?

Do you have to think more carefully before acting because more people are watching your every move because you are famous?

I am known for teaching psychic protection, basically how to prevent and deal with bullying.

The irony of it is that I was bullied and harrassed by my bosses for several months, while running my personal development business with shamanic edge.  The success or corruptness trickles down from the top. I called this the Wild Wild West because of its lawlessness. It was clear why the employees got away with the same, being unprofessional, inappropriate, rude, and corrupt.

I am a victor, not a quitter.

At first I was determined to get over the hump of the learning curve of this new job.

What were my lessons in this?  What was I gaining from these situations?

Then I was doing trial and error on how to stop this bully in his tracks.

Do I need to sweeten them up with love, compassion, patience, and forgiveness?

Do I need to stick up for myself?

Do I need to learn how to thicken my skin even more?

Do I need to not give a fuck and not be affected by this harrassment, ie, detachment?

Did I just have to avoid him despite it being impossible?

Did I have to wish to replace or banish him?

Did I have to remove myself from the environment permanently?

I tried so many positive techniques to get them off my back.
I had so much success with past people who attacked me, this was a piece of cake.

I learned a lot through each layer and perspective, from love, to detachment, to forgiveness, to strength.  Then, it was time. It was not time to run away out of defeat or fear. I made peace with these people more quickly than most would.  I stayed longer than I should have because I actually enjoyed my job and some of the people. Plus, change is usually something people put off until it’s crucial.  

It was time to leave because it was not congruent with my mission to be teaching how to deal with bullies, and yet I was wasting my life force putting up with this on a day to day basis.  The straw that broke the camel’s back was that my business reputation was on the line. How credible would I be choosing to remain in a situation that I preach about?  I was at peace with these bosses. I was no longer scared of them. I felt strong and even had compassion for them. But, I couldn’t live out the mission and carry it out if I was wasting my life force dealing with them.  So, I decided to leave, not because I couldn’t handle them, nor out of fear.

I had people in the community seeing me, saying hello to me.  This was not a healthy environment for them to see me in. They knew and know me as a community leader, an activist, an entrepreneur, in addition to a teacher and a healer.  It was incongruent to see me get disrespected and unjustly treated if I was a leader, trainer, coach, facilitator for personal development, a business woman, owning and running her own business.  

I cannot be associated with people who tell me to shut up, and even lie.  That is inconsistent with who I am and what I stand for. I was embarrassed to be associated with people who live the lifestyle and mindset of the opposite of what I teach.  I believe in the law of cause and effect. I believe in keeping my conscience clear because all I have is my word, my reputation. People trust me for how I live. Do I allow people to abuse me?  Do I sell out and keep a paycheck by doing the dirty work for my bosses? This is the real reason I chose to leave. I did not decide to leave out of fear. Like I said, I was not afraid of these people or this “shoot first, ask later” situation anymore because I was that desensitized or immune to the toxic dynamics of this environment and relationships.  

The title of this article is Breaking Point even though I did not get broken.  It’s more of a turning point.

I decided to leave because I was saying YES to my mission.  My business is my mission. My reputation is what my business is known for.  I decided because I was saying YES to my love, my very purpose for living. My business is healing and empowerment.  I want people to believe and trust me by knowing my lifestyle is matching what I teach and preach. Yes, I knew I deserved better when I endured those months.  Yes, I love conquering challenges. If I believed I was a nobody and had no idea what my life’s purpose was, I would probably stay in that job situation. But, because my life’s path, my calling, my mission for living is so important to me, I could not continue to taint my essence nor reputation by putting myself in a compromising situation.  I did not have the energy to serve people as a healer and teacher because I was so drained and burnt out from this toxic environment. People would say, I have not mastered what I teach and I’m hypocritical if I continued to remain there.

I heal, bless, and forgive this situation.  I open myself to channels of prosperity where I am loved, supported, appreciated, and respected.  The lack of this does take a toll on one’s psyche, soul, and body. I would be setting myself up for failure if I stayed.  I leave, I left, because I am reclaiming my right and divine success, my personal power.  

When I succeed, I help others succeed.  People ask what makes me tick? Simple. I get up every morning for the evolution of the human race and my own evolution.  Simple, yet people find it hard to believe because they have not connected with that aspect of themselves yet.  

What is your big WHY, ie, your purpose for living?  This has to be an 8, 9, or 10 on a scale of 1 to 10 for it to be your big WHY.

What is your breaking or transformational turning points?  

What are your values?

What will you live for?

What will you not tolerate?

Most people don’t do introspection or get in touch with themselves this deeply.  It’s dark, but that’s where you find your treasures of peace, healing, joy, love, and empowerment.