Man, that title is straight to the point. Well, they already have book titles such as win people over, how to get friends, how to influence people, yada yada yada.
First of all, do you know who you are talking to?
Do you know yourself?
Are you only thinking of yourself and what you want?
Do you know what makes the people you are interacting with tick?
Some people may want to get paid money.
Some people don’t want your money. Instead, they want to be the author of best-selling books, so they want people to buy all of their books!
Some people don’t want your free volunteering that is inconsistent.
Some people want to pay you money and know they can rely on what you promise, when you promise.
Are you treating everyone like how you treat yourself?
Are you expecting people to drop everything for you when you have not invested anything in them or their organization?
Some people are disillusioned to thinking the world revolves around them.
This is the narcisstic world it has de-volved into.
You may be thinking people have free time to talk and meet with you, when they barely have any for their own family, business, or affairs.
Usually the biggest influencers are those that are busy and harder to make appointments with. Those who give all their time away for free usually don’t value themselves enough or are not offering something that is connected to urgency or a mission.
I had a lady get mad at me because she demanded I volunteer. Hello, lady! You don’t know me from Adam. You don’t know how my life is, what my priorities are, or how I decide what’s in alignment with my lifestyle. If you bully and boss people into doing something, you’re merely repelling them and giving a bad reputation to the organization you’re representing.
I had one of my teachers manipulate me out of guilt. She would extort everything out of me, money, my time, my privacy, my freedom, my peace and happiness, because I used to be a puppet for guilt. Not no more, bitches!
I grew up with a family that shames. Like I said in many of my talks, every 3rd word is how “shameful,” or how “shameless!”
I had a former friend throw money at me. So…..not worth it. She was wreckless, abusive, and meanwhile I wanted to keep my lifestyle clean. She was a drama queen and her gifts and money were no longer in alignment with me, nor worth my time and energy, and peace of mind.
Find out what makes people tick.
Is it approval?
Is it money?
Is it addiction?
Is it power?
Is it fame?
Is it success?
Is it a need to contribute?
Is it boredom versus adventure?
Is it safety and security?
Is it routine?
Is it self-actualization?
If you operate out of poverty consciousness, you cannot expect to move someone who operates out of prosperity consciousness.
If you operate out of victimhood, you cannot expect to move someone who operates from victorhood.
If you think you can get anything for free, you are wrong. There is always a price to pay. Ask gold diggers, ask doctors. You work for it and earn whatever it is you invest in. However you choose to acquire that is on your own accord.
Do landlords expect you to pay the rent? Then why do you go around begging people to find a place where you don’t pay rent?
People, everyone asks, “What’s in it for me?” So answer that. What are you giving them? Are you giving them a boosted ego? Are you giving them sex? Are you giving them a sense of empowerment? Are you feeding them knowledge they desire? Are you giving them trust and loyalty? Are you giving them friendship? Are you giving them money? Are you giving them attention? Are you paying for their rent or groceries? Are you endorsing them or giving them clout? Are you providing a product or service that makes someone feels sexy, confident, or attractive? Maybe someone wants to use you to make their ex-lover jealous.
Now that we touched on their needs, values, and priorities, let’s focus on personality. Some people are more direct. Some people are more talkative, or slower to get to the point. Listen to their language and feel their energy. Do they avoid wasting their time with small talk, or do they enjoy extra information in conversation? Does the person want to be left alone and have space? Does the person want you to talk to them every second? Study personality types.
Don’t judge people on your standards and values. Step outside your mindset, step into their shoes. Most people don’t and won’t do this, so they get nowhere.
Appreciate, put value. Give value, people will want to listen to you and be around you, even pay you! Give before taking. If you get really good at this, you’ll get what you want from others.
The bottom line is universal, no matter what part of the world you are in or come from.
*People will listen to you when you give them something they want.*