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Fate versus Co-creating
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Suicide
Suicide
By Isaiah Delgado-Flores
The other day I was talking to my friend about how suicide used to be represented in media. On television and in movies, if someone attempted suicide, they were often labeled as crazy. Imagine suffering so much inside that you would rather stop being alive than suffer … and people call you crazy for it.
I’m not writing this for those who haven’t had suicidal thoughts. If you haven’t been through it, then you just wouldn’t understand. To those who haven’t had those thoughts, and are around someone who is having them, don’t force yourself to understand. Just be supportive.
To those who are having suicidal thoughts: You’re not alone. I’m sure you hear that a lot, and I’m sure you don’t believe it. How could you? No one knows how you feel. Your feelings are your own. When you’re in that spot where it feels like the world has turned its back on you, sometimes the best thing to do is turn around and face it. Isolation will be one of your worst enemies.
Another enemy you’ll face is guilt. When you have suicidal thoughts, your brain loves to add to the flames. It’ll make you feel guilty about everything and anything. It’ll eat you up inside. Don’t fuel that temptation. Reach out. No matter who you are, someone cares. It won’t feel like it until you reach out. Reaching out saved my life many times. It took me a long time to reach out. I almost lost my life to myself a handful of times. I didn’t care, because I thought no one else did. Then I finally sought community and support, and found the comfort I was looking for.
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Everyone will say it’ll get better with time. Time has nothing to do with it. Finding motivation, reaching out, making goals for yourself — that’s what will save your life. When you’re contemplating suicide, you should come up with a short-term goal. A goal that’s simple but so important to you that you can’t let your life go until you achieve it. Once you reach that goal, set another one. A bigger one. That’s what I did. I haven’t had a suicidal thought in months, because now I have big goals that I can’t leave this Earth without achieving.
If someone you love comes to you because they are having suicidal thoughts, don’t make them feel guilty. Don’t pester them with questions. Just be there for them. Do whatever they need, within reason. If you’re having suicidal thoughts, reach out. No one can grab your hand if you keep pulling it away. You’re loved. You’re appreciated. Even when it feels like you’re not, you are. So love and appreciate yourself.
If you or someone you know is in an emergency, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) or call 911 immediately.
Isaiah Delgado-Flores is a senior at Pojoaque Valley High School. You can contact him at bubbadukes2002@gmail.com
Posted in Blog
Tagged guilt, National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, reach out, suicidal thoughts, suicide
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Saint Expedite
Saint Expedite delivers when you are in dire need of help in an urgent manner. Do you need to pay the rent? Do you need to expedite any prayers, goals, manifestations, or petitions? This type of petition is not for long term big goals or projects. This is to quicken the attainment of certain needs you need met. Caution, St. Expedite is also trickster energy, so be careful with him. He is a Roman soldier, sentry crushing “procrastination,” hence the “cras” under his foot. “Hodie” is Latin for “Today!” He does things today, and does not procrastinate.
What he wants in payment or return for your petitions is pound cake and a public recommendation for his services. You can also give him water and yellow and red flowers because yellow and red are his colors. When you ask for his help, he usually works alone, so he doesn’t partcularly like you to ask other spirits to work by his side. He can and will give you results for what you ask for, but it’s up to you to handle the rest.
His characteristics that you can use to work with him are: air, Mercury, Hermes, Wednesday, yellow, red, and pound cake. Use these creatively with and for him to your advantage.
Take responsibility for manifesting the rest yourself to maintain what he delivers. You can also use candle magic, with the red and yellow candles when petitioning him. You can also have a figurine of him, and or a card/ picture of him. Include your petition or prayer of what you are asking of him. It helps to put the paper under the lit candle(s). Set up the altar with the candle(s), prayer and water as an offering because you offer water to your guests as hospitality.
Pay him the flowers, cake, and recommendation after he delivers, or else he may play tricks and take your gifts without delivering your petition(s). Guess why I’m publicizing this knowledge? Saint Expedite delivers. Create your petitions wisely folks, there is always karma.
Posted in Blog
Tagged air, candle magic, flowers, goals, Hermes, manifestations, Mercury, petitions, pound cake, prayers, red, Saint Expedite, trickster energy, Wednesday, yellow
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Loving the wrong way?
Can you love someone so much? Is it wrong to love someone so much?
Sometimes you love someone so much you want them to be with you in every way of your life but they don’t have the capacity to give back or reciprocate. Sometimes they are meant to fall out of alignment with you because the reasons or purposes are over and have been served. Sometimes you are meant to reconnect again later, who knows!?
If you are meant to grow together, if you want to keep them, you better check yourself and stop loving them out of desperation, fear, insecurity, or choking. When you do this, you are actually being vampiric, parasitic, and causing imbalance in the relationship. This is toxic. If you’re in denial and say well love is love, you better ask yourself if you’re repelling people by being too controlling, or tainting your relationship with jealousy.
I mean, get real, get out of denial. When you’re subconsciously trying to hang onto someone with these lower vibrations, they will feel it and grow resentment towards you. It’s not just about the actions.
Are your actions trying to hook them? People can love you and you can be blind to it, or you may even reject them because you subconsciously want to ruin the relationship out of jealousy, or other negative emotions.
People can love you in healthy balanced ways, or unhealthy imbalanced ways.
Maybe you’re a taker, and you have a grabby energy. Maybe someone you love is tired of you not reciprocating and not caring for their genuine well-being. All you care about is giving only what you want to give, but not really giving them what they need. Maybe you only appear when you need something, but when they’re asking for you to be a friend, you ignore it. You only appear when you need to dump. When I say dump, yes that means both sharing negative and positive, because you’re doing it out of a grabby, needy energy.
It doesn’t work that way.
People will only take so much of your neediness. If you can’t handle people changing, growing up, graduating, learning, just growing period, then you are repelling them with your fears, insecurities, judgment and your attachment is not unconditional freeing love. It is resentment, jealousy, and choking. This is not love. This is unhealthy.
If you’re in denial or out of touch with your subconscious programming, it’s a cop out to blame the other person when you in fact are the one sabotaging. But, ask yourself why?
Why are you sabotaging? Do you not feel worthy to have healthy relationships? Does your programming tell you that you deserve abusive fucked up relationships? It’s not logical, but get real, get deep. Face yourself in the mirror and ask what responsibility did I have in pushing my loved ones away? Especially if you’re acting out as any type of actions that emotional vampires do, like the splitter-border personality, of, “I hate you! But, please don’t leave me.” This is passive-aggressive behavior used that repels your loved ones.
So, yes, you can “love” someone in an unreasonable way.
People use religion or love to manipulate others to do things for them. This is not love or righteous. It’s just manipulation. There are different tactics people use to steal your power. If you feel smothered in a relationship, or jipped, or both, ask yourself if they are stealing your power, or if you are giving it away. Here are different examples of emotional vampires: victim, controller, criticizer, narcissist, border-splitter. There are infinite more labels or examples, but you get the jist.
Enjoy, Rainbow Heart Freedom Eagle.
Click on these links on how to deal with them:
Emotional Vampire Part 1: How to Deal with Controllers?
Emotional Vampire Part 2: How to Deal with Narcissists?
Emotional Vampire Part 3: How to Deal with Splitter Personality?
Emotional Vampire Part 4: How to Deal with The Criticizer?
Emotional Vampire Part 5: How to Deal with Victims?
Posted in Blog
Tagged border-splitter, controller, criticizer, emotional vampire, emotional vampires, healthy relationship, love, narcissist, Rainbow Heart Freedom Eagle, relationship, toxic relationship, victim
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