Coming to you for the wrong reasons?

Whether it be a smile up  front for a sales proposition, or an embarrassed citizen trying to save face, we all know when something is off.  

You can allow people to do what they want with you because you always have the power of choice.  Who knows? Maybe you want that attention at the cost or expense of….fill in the blank. Maybe you gave sex just to find love in the wrong places?  Maybe you were peer pressured to go against your values? We’ve all been there and know what it feels like to be desperate. Everyone uses each other.  But how do you use each other? What do you learn from it?

My mom said something was strange when America’s mother came smiling big at her with long eye contact after the sermon at church.  She was complaining as to why this lady never approached or gave her a notice or even a smile before. Well, incongruencies are a big clue as to feeling when something is not right, off, or different.  It’s not a judgment, it doesn’t have to be right or wrong, bad nor good.

People and situations change.  People can improve, get worse, or just go sideways, haha.  You have to ask it from your own perspective. How is this relationship or agreement serving me?  Then you can ask how is it serving other parties from their perspective.  

Giving first is one of the ways to gain trust.  People who just come to you when they need something are less likely to have an easier time getting what they want.  When you have already given something, appreciation, trust, love, attention, money, gifts, support in some way, your time, endorsements, then humans have a desire to reciprocate unless they’re a sociopath.  

Don’t just give to get something in return.  Of course we all know it will come back to you.  How many of you know that co-worker that only gives a compliment because she is desperately sniffing one out in return from you?  When you give from a place of feeling complete and joyful, you command that to return to you. When you give feeling scarcity, fear, or resentment, you command that to return to you as well.  

So, it is about the action, but more importantly, the energetic vibration spent while doing the action overrides the action.  Give because you want to bless people, without attachment.  

It is very much appreciated, respected, and refreshing when people come to us in an authentic way just to bless and give.  They don’t have to give something tangible. It can just be their presence, their support even long distance. It takes strong people to be authentic.  I don’t mean authentic in a shameless needy way. I mean authentic in a way they are more whole, conscious, transparent, and generous. 

Some people come to us out of insecurity not realizing it is a repellent energy.  You have got to trust in yourself and trust in some people. Trust they will love you, and do love you just because they do, not for any cause or effect that you have to do.  No one can feed or quell your insecurity and heal it, only you.

Some people come to challenge us.  Some people come to attack us. Some people come to use us.  

What we can learn in imbalanced relationships is how to discriminate and read between the lines, even when people are in denial themselves.  We can learn how to remain in our personal power.

Some come to prove to themselves that they are not guilty.  We all don’t care. We all are full, minding our own business.  We don’t care nor have time to judge you, so let it go. We are at peace for and with you.  There is nothing to forgive because there was never a judgement.

All our relationships have an understanding of what is being exchanged even if not spoken.  We go to the market and pay for gas, or food. There is an exchange. People pay us for our services.  People pay to party. People pay for empowerment.  

People need to pay and replenish their friendships, but this cannot happen when your cup is empty.  If anything, you drain the friendship with insecurity, jealousy, imbalanced dependence and trying to be controlling.

What are different ways of giving?  Yes, we all want to get something back in return.  It’s the way we live here in these human bodies! But you have to see it from the other person’s perspective.  It’s like giving Lori a red sock when red is your favorite color, but she hates the color red. If Joe is looking for a perfect volunteer, don’t give money when the end goal he wants is a perfect volunteer.  Get him closer to that goal of his by helping him find that.  

I used to have a friend that would never give me what I wanted.  She only gave me things she valued, even if I didn’t care for them, even when I clearly told her what I wanted.  She was used to throwing money at people to bend over backwards for her. Sorry, that bait ain’t attractive to me, so I cut her off.  Money can’t buy my free will or self respect.

If you don’t know the person well, there should be an organic, authentic relationship building.  It’s like dating. You don’t just say, “You wanna fuck?” unless that’s the kind of people you are and that’s your agreement.  Courtship, there is a friendship, a relationship building process in collaborations, sales, dating, and beyond. If you try too hard your desperation pushes the other person away.  If you are detached and giving, it should make the other person reciprocate unless they’re a complete turkey.  

Unfortunately most people do not know how to reciprocate today.  Many factors are responsible for this, from the laziness training of this immediate gratification society of internet, microwaves, Wikipedia…  Social media trains people to lack discipline because they’re addicted to seeing if anyone has liked their posts. ADD, and ADHD is rampant again because of the 2 things I just mentioned.  

How can we have real, deep, meaningful, authentic conversations, let alone relationships when people are not trained to?  This generation and society is deteriorating in heart, discipline, and meaning for how and why we live our lives. This is the selfie age.  Superficial values are glorified on mainstream media.  

It is shallow to live for outer things such as wealth, fame, success, and praise.  These are not bad, but if it controls you, then it becomes detrimental. These things can be used for good.  Yes, we do it because we all have egos.  

At the same time, the balance has to be in place.  We can exercise control over our egos and say, “No,” to our ego.  I didn’t say it’s easy. We all have basic human needs after our basic needs of safety, shelter and food are met.  Each individual has different priorities depending on their personality. Some may value feeling loved more, some may value feeling significant more, while others value adventure!  So, you cannot expect people to have the same motivations driving them.  

Ok, I’m going to go deeper and speak from a shamanic viewpoint.  Some people want to be around you to suck you dry. They can do this in an overtly congruent way, or hide it, or be in consciously denial of it, but subconsciously they know what they’re doing.  

People will come to you for the wrong reasons.  Or maybe it’s not labeled wrong, it is what it is.  You learn how to use your intuition, your discriminating muscle more.

People don’t know how to reciprocate these days.  Responding to voicemails, emails, in person requests, are lacking as the norm.  Ghosting is a common term. You meet up with someone or date him or her only find he or she left your life without any common courtesy of closure or notice.  I’ve seen one woman do this in her job, no resignation or verbal warning after 8 years, nothing. It’s too easy to ignore people. Hungry ghost is a ghost that is tormented by insatiable desires, a spiritual emptiness, maybe even filled with addiction.  When people are empty they are hungry, thirsty, desperate.  

This is why they don’t reciprocate.  It’s not because they’re busy. We all have 24 hours.  It’s because they are running on empty.  

When you run on empty you are parasitic, vampiric, taking or stealing.  We always see the same people complaining about people stealing from them.  What they don’t realize is that this current of lack runs through them and they have stolen from someone else.  This is why this pattern continues to boomerang back to them. People steal not only things, but time, trust, reputation, etc..  They steal reputation by slandering or gossiping about others. They steal time by never keeping their word and always breaking their appointments.  People steal your space in different ways. One way is they can being messy. We met someone who had 2 feet of junk piled up on her desk that it took her hours or days and weeks to respond to people because of this chaos.  Mess leads to stealing people’s time again, waiting on you. People who instill fear steal your peace of mind. Do you see, stealing is not only applicable to personal belongings?    

This is why it’s crucial to fill your cup yourself, so you don’t feel the need, or operate from stealing or taking mode.  No one else can or will, otherwise you’ll steal or take someone else’s energy and that’s the relationship or dance you play out with each other.

See, it’s not just about stealing things you can touch.  It’s not just about stealing energy from another person’s aura.  It’s beyond that into a lifestyle, a mindset, your matrix and how it impacts other people’s matrices.  

People are not aware of their currents running their matrices.  Does this make them bad people? You only know what you know. Once you become conscious or educated, you have the choice whether to heal or improve yourself.  

We are here to live and reciprocate in balanced ways that come out of love and abundance the best we know how.  Anything less than is not what I want to be known for or how I want to live anymore.  

People are not aware of this concept.  This is why some people are always slacking, late, losing, bringing the team down, or sabotaging.  This is why some people are always picking up the slack for others.  

You either fill your cup and run with more give, ie, responsiveness and capability, or you are a bleeder.  Is this harsh? Well, you may not like it if you are the bleeder or the sabotager. But this is the current that runs through when people come at you with the intention to take, versus an intention to bless or give.  

If you don’t like this message, it has nothing to do with us.  

It has triggered a belief of lack in you that is asking for a second look, asking for your healing.

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