What are shadow contracts and why do you need to know about them?
I heard this term, “shadow contracts” from Amanda Flaker. I am putting my own spin to it. Research her if you choose.
There are probably things within yourself, your life, or your relationships that you complain about. If you truly want to live what you say you want, be honest with yourself. Why you do certain things? Why are your relationships the way they are with yourself and with others? If you want to break through your current limitations, then you’ll want to know this.
I had a reading with a woman who complained about coworkers and family taking advantage of her. But after all was said and done, she confessed, “I want to feel needed.” This is the honest truth as to why she chose to keep her imbalanced relationships alive. This is her shadow contract.
I had a friend enable his nephew from taking money from him daily, even twice or more a day. The honest truth, despite my friend calling his nephew out on lying about his addictions and just using the money to party, my friend wanted to keep this connection. Despite my friend cursing, exclaiming on the phone he would never speak to his nephew again, they had a back and forth conversation daily. My friend had settled to keep this relationship because he valued connection, even if he called his nephew a scavenger. My friend, too, wanted to feel needed.
This is his shadow contract.
I have a mentor who admits she gives more time and attention to her paying students. As she admitted, she needs to make a living. This is common sense for any aspect of life and any and all professions. Put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can help other people.
So, you can’t just get someone’s time and think people are nice and doing it for free. Ask yourself, what exchange are you gaining from every interaction you perform? Are you loving because you want love back? Are you dressing sexy because you want attention? Are you hanging around someone so you can energetically drain them? Are you trying to be popular so you hang out with certain people instead of growing your own popularity? Are you providing high quality customer service because you want to gain or keep the trust of your customers? Are you taking care of your children because you want your legacy name, your genes to survive beyond you? Are you kissing up to someone because you fear losing your paycheck? Are you working just for your paycheck? Are you working because you enjoy what you do, and the paycheck is icing on the cake necessary to live?
There doesn’t have to be shame like most humans like to place on these shadow contracts. Only humans place shame, blame, and guilt to things. Animals and nature do not, they just BE, and naturally survive to live. Even if you are ashamed, you can courageously unearth these authentic shadows of yours to your light or your acknowledgment. Then you can fully integrate, heal, and forgive yourself.
Some would say, there is nothing to forgive because there never was anything to forgive. Everything is sacred, humans just need to realize that. Every aspect of yourself is divine, even the shadows.
“Healing–It Is All That Is.” ~Standing Bear Thunder Heart.
I, Rainbow, offer sessions and training on how to start and run your own business as a healer / teacher to help you get over your psychological and marketing blockages to succeed. Bear offers different shamanic and energy healing training for both students and teachers. Succeed and unleash your powers by joining our tribe at our Patreon.